…………… In continuation…..
But, Ramakant already had news for me. News that completely shattered me. I felt like someone has stolen my most precious thing from me. I was silent and wanted to fade away on hearing what he had to say.
He said,“You know she has accepted “His” proposal and now she is in a relationship”,.
She seemed to be very happy like she has got something very precious, exactly opposite to what I was feeling. That day I hadn’t even came out of the class and haven’t said a single word to anyone till my last period. It was like a major portion of me has been slashed out. Everything to me was like a dream, my heart and mind went out of sync. This usually happens when you like somebody for a long time and you realize that you are in love with that person and suddenly you came to know that “She” with no chance is your’s.
I straight away headed towards home. I did not talk to anybody and went into my room, put on my headphones and played my old lonely time’s friend Jagjeet Singh (One of the greatest Ghazal/Poetry singer in India). The first Ghazal of that day was “Dunia jise kehte hain jadoo ka khilona hai, Mil jaaye to matti hai, kho jaaye to sona hai“(Love is like a magic toy, if you have it, you have no value of it, if it is lost then it becomes precious).
I think, that was the day, when I truly started understanding the depth and real meaning of Ghazals / Poetry. I have been to my same old place, on the River bank, on the last step as usual and today I found the words to bleed on my Diary. The first poem I wrote was childish, but yet that was the beginning of something meaningful in future. I found a difference within myself after what I felt and inadvertently started noticing and thinking the little and minutest of things in life differently. May be this is the reason for the birth of “# a Ray Of Difference”.
Well, that day I found and understood myself, with my own experience that nothing is stagnant in life. Everything is vulnerable. There is Nothing in this world that you can claim for, except one thing, and that is you, yourself and your own capabilities and abilities.
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That day after hitting my first write-up, I felt a little light. I was roaming around the club; By the way this club is one of the amazing place in Nangal, its name is “Officer’s Club”. This place is a witness of our lot of things, our happiness, our sorrows and offcourse this was like a second home for a few of us.
I played Badminton that day till 9:00 pm. I want to sweat out every damn feeling which I had for “HER”, on the other hand, I was happy achieving first write-up on my own. I shared the same with “Ramakant”, “What an amazing piece of work, Nitin”, He said. I knew he didn’t have a single bone of poetry, but I was happy that he appreciated, at least.
Because of my ability, of expression in poetry, some of my friends started asking my help for their own patch ups and settings, Don’t want to elaborate more on this (Elaborative version is not important to the story 🙂 ), “Saurav Bansal”, “Nitin Verma” and “Akhil Chawla“, you must remember.
I was in 9th now and we (Me and Her) were in the same class due to reshuffling of sections (it was a common trend in our school, in 9th they reshuffle sections every year). Some of my classmates were behaving as if something major has happened to them, “Kaustab Basu” was started crying literally, “Don’t worry, both sections are just a wall apart, why are you over exaggerating the scene?”, I asked and he moved silently with his bag.
In the new section, “HER” seat was very close to me (can’t tell, exactly where it was 🙂 ). I can see “HER” now daily and started observing her closely, even her benchmate didn’t. “SHE” was awesome, my God. One thing, in this single sided relationship was, I felt proud of me that I am in love with the most beautiful girl of the class. It’s like “if you are poor, then don’t dream “Maruti 800”, rather, dream of a Rolls Royce”, at least take some Rich dreams 🙂 .
Well, class 9th went of in writing and watching her all the time. I completely forgot that there was something called studies as well. Somehow, passed the class, obviously with passing marks only. On the other hand, my parent’s worries started as it was Matriculation (class 10th) now, and as per the society we live in, it was a deciding class, God knows what this class had to decide for me and my future.
Took admission in 10th and it was just 3 days I started going to the new class. One very fine day, I came back home from school and my Father had a news for me……..
………………… To Be Continued……………………….
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